My mother and I do not have a good relationship. Lots of history there... some of which is that I never got the chance to be a daughter - I was a venting post, a mother to her children, a cook, a house cleaner, a chauffeur, etc. I never got to have a mother that I could confide in or a shoulder to cry on. I was told to suck it up because I was wrong if I disagreed with something.
The last seven years since her divorce have been spent trying to reign her in - pick her up off the floor when she passed out drunk and was choking on her vomit. Trying to give my younger siblings the best chance possible (which resulted in my sister (the one 4 years younger than me) and I removing my baby brother from my mother's house and he going to live with my sister and her husband). And now my sister (the one that is 12 years younger than me) possibly coming to live with B and I.
The last two weeks I have spent a lot of time at my mom's house helping one of my sisters repaint her room, etc. and in being over there I have actually had pleasant visits with my mother. So I'm thinking - okay - am I going crazy or has my mother actually started to be sane? Is it even possible? My first thought is - Hell - no it's not. For some reason though all of the sudden we have been able to have conversations and I can leave her house without feeling oppressed, upset or stressed to the max.
What in the world am I supposed to think? Could this be for real or am I just setting myself up for hurt again?
I have no idea what your mom's doing. She could actually be changing for the better, or she could just be trying to manipulate you because she's loosing control of her children. Only time will tell. My best advice to you is to be careful and don't let yourself get hurt again.
ReplyDelete